Monday, July 29, 2013

Chapter 10: Breakeven


Kitty paced anxiously outside of the coffee shop. She glanced through the window, spotting him almost instantly.
Guilt swelled in her chest. 

He'd cut his hair, dressed up and was grinning while she had trouble convincing herself to even enter.

She inhaled deeply and made her way to the door.

She wanted to run, but she had something to take care of.
Something she should have already taken care of.


Kitty pushed the door open, flinching as a set of bells went off. She frowned at the scent of coffee that drowned the place.

David turned to look at the door. His grin getting impossibly wider when his eyes met hers.

"You're actually here." He stood up, his voice breathless.

"Yeah, apparently I am." Kitty stepped away from him, sitting across the table.
He frowned slightly but quickly recomposed himself.

"Sorry I'm a bit late." Kitty muttered under her breath. Her eyes on the floor, refusing to meet David's.

"It's okay. I know you were probably outside trying to convince yourself to even come in." David grinned at her.
"Not that I mind of course."

He smiled. 
His hands inched closer to her.
His eyes tried desperately to meet hers.

With his every gesture he was trying desperately to tell her he was in love with her.

Kitty forced herself to ignore him.
Ignore the pain swimming in his emerald eyes. 

"So what did you want to see me for?"

David sighed.

"I want to you to know what it did to me when you left." He kept his eyes on her. 
"Losing you killed me, Kat-"

"Kitty."

"No." David frowned. "I wasn't abandoned by Kitty. Kat broke my heart."

"What do you think this information is going to do David?" Kitty shouted, her eyes finally meeting his.
"Do you want me to feel guilty and get back together with you out of pity?"

"No."

"Then what the hell do you want?" She growled, leaning back in her seat.

"I want to be friends again." He reached out for her hand. He flinched when she pulled away from him.


"Why?"

"I didn't just lose my girlfriend when you left. I lost my best friend." David sighed again.
"So with that in mind. I rejected my scholarship for the college in Appaloosa Plains and I'm moving to Bridgeport."

Kitty stared at him, eyes wide with disbelief.

"You've wanted to go to that college since we were twelve David." Kitty hissed under her breath.
"I don't even want to see you right now. Why would you give that up for me?"

"I've spent the last two years searching for you. How can I let you go now that I've finally found you?" His eyes were filled with tears. He tried to inch closer, but Kitty would move away each time.

"You just walk away." Kitty responded. She slowly moved her eyes back to his.

"Is that what you did?"

Kitty straightened in her seat, her face and voice cold.
"Yes."

The light left David's eyes as his shoulders fell. His eyes fell to his lap.
For a moment the coffee shop was silent. Neither spoke.

"I thought you loved me." Kitty could hear the tears in his voice that he forced back.

"I thought I did too David, but my feelings for you," Kitty paused. She bit the inside of her cheek, thinking of the proper way to word her feelings.
"My feelings for you were never romantic. It was strictly platonic for me."

"I thought we were soulmates..."

"We were fifteen David."

"I love you Katherine!" David stood from his seat, leaning across the table.
"I would do anything for you. Even put my dreams on hold just to be closer, but you had to be convinced to even spend one evening with me."

"You do not love me!" Kitty screamed, standing from her seat, knocking the table to the ground.

She glared at her feet, fists clenched at her sides. She could feel her nails begin to puncture the skin on her palm.

"I have to go."

"Kat- Kitty wait please. Please don't go." David ran around the table to her side. Kitty's heart ached for her childhood friend at the pain so clearly written on his face.

"Because I don't want to see you anymore." She turned away from him and made her way to the door.


"Kitty please!" He called out after her. "Please don't go."

Kitty paused for a moment, remembering she still had to say something.

She turned around, ready to talk to him once more, but she continued her path to the door as soon as she laid eyes on him.
It was better this way.

Better that she break him, repaint the image he held so tightly in his heart into something grotesque.

Kitty ran out of the coffee shop. Shivering as the cold winter air met her skin.

"Katherine, please just let me finish." Kitty froze where she stood, surprised he'd followed her outside.

"Please Kat. I'm sorry, truly I am." Kitty refused to turn and face him. Kept her eyes on the street before her.
"Please. If you leave now I'll never see you again and I can't live with that."

"Why not, David? I'm just a person and yet I seem to have become the epicenter of your life." Kitty spoke softly, her hands gripped her shoulders.
"I abandoned you for two years, so why do still care so much?"

"Because I love you. It's a simple as that."

"You do not love me." Kitty hissed darkly, spinning on her heel to face him.
"What you feel for me. What ever this is. It's not love David. It's an obsession."

"What do you want from me?" David struggled to contain the volume of his voice.
"Most girls would give anything for a guy who would drop everything for them."

"When have I ever been like most girls David?" Kitty groaned to hide her slight chuckle.

"What is it going to take for me to show you that I love you?"

"David, you're just clinging to what's familiar. You're scared of the unknown. Of knew people." Kitty tried to smile reassuringly at him. 
"I get David. I am too-"


Kitty was abruptly cut off by David crushing his lips against hers. 
Kitty pushed him back, struggling to get out of his grip.

He was relentless struggling to keep a hold of her, while she continued to attempt to push him away.
Finally he released her, breathing heavily.

Kitty's eyes shifted to slits as she shoved him backwards knocking him down, her hands burning.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Kitty screamed when David got back up to his feet.

"I just... I thought that if I-"

"What that there'd be a spark of chemistry and everything would be all better?" David took a step back, and Kitty took a step forward.

"Kat, I'm sorry I just-"

"It's Kitty now, David. I'm not Kat anymore." Kitty hissed, pushing his shoulders back.
"You call me Kat again, and I'm going to beat the shit out of you."

"Doesn't that seem a bit extreme?" David tried to respond jokingly.

"David shut up." Kitty hissed, turning to walk away.


She turned back around, walking up to him, her face centimeters from his.

"You ever touch me without my consent again, and you're dead."

"I just wanted to show you I love you!" David whined, grabbing Kitty's wrist.

"Why? Why is that so damned important to you?" Kitty asked, her tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

"Because I love you. I have always loved you. And maybe if you see how much I love you, even after everything you did to me, maybe you can finally learn to love yourself." David responded, letting go of her wrist.

Kitty shook her head. She kept her gaze away from him.
"You're so stupid."

"Yeah I am." David's laugh was hollow.
"But this stupid man loves you desperately."

"I'm not even human, David. I'm.. I'm a monster."

"No you aren't." Kitty finally glanced up at him, a gentle smile on his face.
"The soul makes the monster, not the species."

"I don't want to be with you, David."

His smiled saddened but stayed.
"I know, but I still want to be your friend."

"Is that really all you want?" Kitty crossed her arms. She kept eye contact with him, waiting for the lie.

"No." Her eyes widened.
"I want so much more than that, but I want to start as friends."

"I really don't think that's a good idea. You're going to hurt yourself." Kitty shook her head, hair falling in front of her face.

"Let me worry about that." David smiled, taking a step closer to her.
"This is my choice, and I accept the consequences of it. Please just... Can we be friends again?"


Kitty sighed, kicking at the snow at her feet.

"Okay, but I have a condition."

"Anything. Just tell me. I'll do anything." His grin looked as though it'd stretch out his face.

"Have you told your parents you found me?"

"Not yet, but they're going to be so happy to hear you're okay-"

"Don't tell them. That's my condition." Kitty cut him off, shaking with fear.
"If you ever loved me, please just don't tell them. Don't ever tell them you found me or about my friend."

David brushed a strand of hair out of her face, resting his palm against her cheek.
"For you, of course I can."
...


Congratulations to Bridgport High's graduating class! Our Class will be taking many different routes in the future. Some to college, some are starting work and some of us have not yet found our way forward. No matter what it is we intend to do we will have many more obstacles to overcome. The future will have economic, health and emotional challenges as we dare to achieve new goals. 
But don't ever let that stop you.
Always keep moving forward.

"Nadine we did it!" Kitty cheered as she ran into her now former teacher's arms. 
Spikes walked slowly behind Kitty, grinning as she watched the two cheer.

"I am so proud of the two of you." Nadine squeezed Kitty in her arms and grinned at Spikes.
Both girls were grateful to have Nadine.
Both lacked any family, so Nadine's supportive presence was what they needed.

Especially Kitty who had nearly begun to see the art teacher as more of a maternal figure.

Spikes tuned out Nadine and Kitty's excited chatter, flinching slightly at the sound of Xander's voice.


It had been months since their arguement, and Spikes wasn't sure where they stood any longer.

Neither had declared themselves single, but neither had tried to talk about what happened.

Spikes hasn't even told Kitty about all that had happened.
She had tried to invite Xander to lunch with Kitty and Nadine.

However, Xander had responded with a callous comment that she should not be celebrating such a minor accomplishment in her life.

"Spikes, Nadine's talking you you." Kitty playful pushed her best friend's shoulder.
Spikes blinked, bringing Nadine's face into focus.

"I'm sorry Nadine. I zoned out a bit." Spikes admitted bashfully.

"I noticed." Nadine grinned, pulling out two small boxes from her pocket.
"I got presents for you two, but a lecture comes with them."

Kitty bounced with excitement, grabbing Spikes hand and entwining her fingers together.


"Spikes."

"Yes Nadine?" Nadine handed the purple box to Nadine, her grin widening as Spikes opened it.

"When I first met you, you were compared to thorns. You kept a wall of thorns between yourself and the world. I knew better though." Spikes's eyes widened as she pulled out a purple collar with silver spikes out.
"Thorns are weak and fragile. Not you though. You're made of strong metal Spikes. Life is going to throw so much at you, stay strong through it Spikes. 
You mentor would be so proud if she could see you now."

Kitty reached excitedly for the aqua box as Nadine handed it to her.
Kitty swooned as she held the small buttercup charm in her hand.

"Buttercups symbolize self worth, and courage. Two things you need, Sweetheart." Nadine stepped closer to Kitty, brushing a stand of hair over he shoulder.
"It also symbolizes the power of words. Once something is spoken it can only be forgiven, not forgotten.
So hear my words now. Be courageous and value yourself. Never settle for less."

Nadine and Kitty were both nearly in tears once Nadine had finished her small lectures.
She pulled both girls into a hug, laughing as she did so.

"You've both grown up so beautifully and I am so proud of you two." Spikes struggled to smile. Though Nadine spoke to both of them, her eyes were on Kitty.
"Anyways, enough water works. Let's go get something to eat."


Kitty wrapped an arm around Spikes's shoulder as they walked off of the school campus for the last time.
They both had their whole future ahead of them.
Through good and bad, the would both have something that most are not lucky enough to.

Neither would ever be alone again.

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