Thursday, July 31, 2014

Chapter 21: Begin Again



Spikes stared intently at her reflection as she placed the concealer under her eyes. The stress and lack of sleep had begun to take a physical toll on her.
She could feel her body weaken from lack of care, as she lost both fat and muscle. 

She turned back to her bed, ignoring the dull ache in her chest as she thought on what to wear. She continued to ignore the pang of guilt as she looked over herself in the mirror.

There was no reason for guilt. She was single now and could do as she pleased.

She shook her head and attempted to focus on the day at hand as she picked up one of her longer skirts. She smiled when Damon barked happily in approval, changing quickly and rushed out the door, nearly running into her best friend on the way.


“Careful Spikes!” Kitty recoiled defensively, taking a step back before taking a moment to actually look at Spikes. 
“Where are you going, on a date?”

“N-not really. It’s not exactly a date,” Spikes stammered, looking down at her feet.

“It totally looks like it’s exactly a date,” Kitty smiled at Spikes.
“Alright so details. I didn’t think you had the time to meet someone with how busy you’ve been with the bar.”

“Kitty I really just-” Spikes was quickly cut off by Damon’s impatient barking.

Momma has a new mate!
Damon barked.


“Wait what?” Kitty raised her eyebrow, concern flashing through her eyes and pain through her heart at the word ‘mate’.

“I do not have a mate.” Spikes growled at Damon, who tucked his tail between his legs. 
“It’s just a guy that I meet up with to have coffee and let the pups have a playdate. I’ll explain more later but I have to go we’re running late.”


Mystic is gonna be mad if I'm late Momma
Damon gave a concerned bark.

“Who’s Mystic?” Kitty asked, suppressing her laughter at the dog’s excitement.

The girl who will one day be my mate.
Damon barked, his body trembling with excitement as he sat at Spikes’s feet.

“Ok well you two have fun. I’m on my way to go see Sabbith.” Kitty waved at the two as she walked up the stairs and out the front door.


Kitty sped towards Sabbith's faster than she typically drove. She’d had a lot on her mind the last month, and since the break up she felt Sabbith was the only person she could talk to. The only person who wasn’t biased in some way.

She inhaled deeply, focusing on the road ahead instead of the tears forming in her eyes. She needed to talk to Sabbith, but she was afraid of her reaction to what she had to say.


“Sabbith!!” Kitty called out as she jammed her key to her friend’s house into the lock, swinging the door open as she entered.
“Sabbith I need to talk to you- Gabriel? What’re you doing here?”


Kitty’s eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Gabriel on the couch. Gabriel sat equally surprised by Kitty’s sudden entrance.

“Sabbith’s in the shower. What’s up Kitty?” Gabriel asked.

“Nothing. I just wanted to talk to Sabbith about stuff.” Kitty responded as she stood fidgeting in the doorway, suddenly shy about her entrance to her friend’s home.

“Well I know you don’t know me all that well, but you can talk to me if it’d help.” Gabriel offered, smiling in attempt to reassure Kitty.



“Thanks…” Kitty spoke quietly as she closed Sabbith’s door, sitting at the couch across from Gabriel. 
“It’s really not a big deal though… I wouldn't want to bother you.”

Gabriel tried not to roll his eyes at the cat as she awkwardly ran her fingers through her hair and tried to keep her hands busy.

“It’s not a bother, Kitty. You seem like you’re really upset.” Gabriel tried to nudge the cat to open up to him.


“I’m not...just…” Kitty inhaled deeply, struggling to keep back her tears. 
“I’m thinking of moving away and I don’t know how to tell anyone about it.”

Gabriel sat quietly, taking in the new information and Kitty’s reactions. “Why?”



“Because I hate it in my own house! I live with a best friend I’m terrified will abandon me and an ex-boyfriend constantly haunting me. How am I supposed to move on when he’s always there?” Kitty nearly shouted in anguish.
“I don’t want to leave. I’m not exactly good at making friends nor do I want to leave my current ones behind but…”

“Where would you move to?”

“Out of town. I feel like if I stayed in Bridgeport I’d be tempted to go back.”


“I get that. You do need to move on, but are you sure this is what you really want?” Gabriel asked. He spoke cautiously, hoping not to further upset the cat.

“Of course it’s not.” Kitty whimpered, pulling her knees up, hiding her face behind them.
“I want things to be the way they were before. I want Takado.”

Gabriel stood from his seat, crossing the small gap to sit beside Kitty, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Why move then? Why not go after what you really want?”


“Because he doesn’t want me anymore. That was made exceptionally clear.” Kitty sighed, wiping away tears as she looked up at Gabriel.
“How can I fight for someone who won’t fight for me? That’s just a one-sided relationship and I… I can’t do that to myself.”

“Well if you really insist that moving is the only option, no one can stop you.” Gabriel tried to be as gentle as he could with the cat. 
“But I suggest you think about it for a long time before you do. I know Sabbith would miss you like hell, and I might even miss you too.”


Kitty rolled her eyes, nudging his side as she mulled over what he’d said.

Whether she left or not was still in the air, but he was right. She’d need to think on it much more before making a final decision.


Spikes was startled by Damon’s sudden howling as she pulled into the parking lot.

“Damon, what are you doing?” Spikes asked him, as she parked her beat up old jeep.

I'm letting Mystic know we're here.
Damon announced. He happily wagged his tail as he continued to howl.

Spikes chuckled at the pup’s innocence as she stepped out of the jeep. Her heart raced as she laid eyes on him playing with his own dog on one of the park’s open fields. Her cheeks flushed deep crimson as their eyes met and his smile widened.


“You’ve finally made it!” His voice was deep and unmistakably pleased as he called out to her. 
“We were wondering if something had happened to you two.”

Spikes and Vincent both laughed as the two dogs ran up to each other, both barking with excitement as they began to chase each other. 
Vincent jogged to Spikes’s side, lifting her into his arms, causing her to squeak in surprise.

“Sorry it took so long to get here. I really wish Kitty’s house wasn’t so far out of town sometimes.” Spikes responded. She sighed as she eased further into Vincent’s embrace.

“Kitty’s house? Isn’t it your home too?” Vincent asked. His voice thick with concern.


“Yeah, it is. I don’t really feel at home there right now though. Kitty’s been distant.” Spikes spoke hesitantly. 
“She and my brother broke up recently and it’s made things awkward between us.”

“How so?”

“She hardly speaks to me anymore. She rarely leaves her room, and when she does it’s usually just to leave.” Spikes sighed. 

The distance with her best friend grated on her more then she let on.

“That doesn’t sound pleasant. Have you tried talking to her about it?” Vincent asked, hoping he could assist in some way.

“Not really… I kind of assumed she just needs some time alone. That’s what I needed after my break up with Xander.”

“Kitty is a different person though. She doesn’t respond to things the way you do. Honestly maybe I should introduce her to this girl I recently met. They seem to be going through the same thing, her name is Mari-”


“Carissa?” Spikes jumped at the sound of her brother’s voice.

“What are you doing here Takado?” Spikes spun on her heel to find herself face to face with her brother.

“Taking a walk. I didn’t feel like being at home.” His tone was rough, angry, but Spikes wasn’t sure about the reason he was so mad.

“How come? Were you worried about seeing Kitty? She went to Sabbith’s.” Spikes assumed he was out of the house to avoid seeing Kitty.

“That’s none of your business, Carissa. I don’t give a shit whether I see that cat or not.” Takado snarled at his sister.
"Speaking of which, who the fuck is this?”

Vincent swallowed as Takado’s eyes met his. He would have recognized those dark, angry jade eyes anywhere.


“His name is Vincent, Takado. He’s my friend, why do you care?” Spikes spoke defensively as she stood in between the two men.

“He’s a cat.” Takado growled, his eyes never leaving Vincent’s. 
“We don’t associate with cats.”

“You can’t tell me what to do Takado!” Spikes snapped at him.
“Just because you had a bad break up with Kitty doesn’t mean I can’t be friends with a cat!”

“Look I-”

“You stay out of this, you fucking cat.” Takado snarled.
“You have no fucking business speaking to my sister.”


“Takado leave!” Spikes shouted at her brother.

“You’re coming with me then. I’m not leaving you here with this cat.”

“No, I am not.” Spikes snarled as she pushed him back. She held her breath as she glared up at him, half expecting him to attack her. 
She sighed in relief when he turned around and walked away without saying anything else.


“I’m so sorry about that, Vincent.” Spikes spoke quickly, her cheeks flushed form the confrontation with her brother.

“It’s fine, Spikes.” Vincent responded. He watched Takado walk away, a sense of dread filling his gut. 
“I need to go though.”

“Why?” Spikes questioned him. She bit the inside of her cheek so hard she could taste blood.

“I have to meet with someone. I’m sorry Spikes, but it’s urgent. Do you want to meet me for coffee later tonight?” Vincent offered. He whistled for Mystic, smiling when she rushed to his side.

“Sure, but what time?” Spikes asked. The disappointment dripped from her voice as she watched Vincent put a leash on Mystic and walk away.

“Meet me at our usual place at eight?”

“Ok…”


“Ok so explain to me why it was so important you see me so suddenly?” Kitty complained as she stepped into the coffee shop.

“You’re Kitty, right?” Vincent asked the moment she took the seat in front of him.

“W-what? How the hell would you know something like that?” Kitty snarled, standing from her seat, ready to run out the doors of the coffee shop.

“Because I was on a date with Spikes and her brother, who looks identical to your ex-boyfriend, showed up.” Vincent responded.


“What are you- You were on a date with Spikes?” Kitty jumped with surprise before she began to gush with excitement.
“How long has that been going on?”

“Not that long. We were just hanging out as friends until she finally broke up with Xander.” Kitty giggled at the flush of his cheeks.
“That’s not the point right now though. Why didn’t you tell me who you actually are?”

“I met you at a club. What if you were a freak or something?” Kitty replied. 
“So why are you so hot and bothered about it?”

“Because we have been pretending to date, and can you imagine if Spikes saw us the way her brother does?” Vincent explained to her. 
“I know you want to make Takado jealous, but I don’t want to ruin my chance with her over this. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t recognize me.”


Kitty rolled her eyes, reaching her hand out to place it on his as she smiled sweetly at him. 
“Vince, you don’t have to worry about that. I would never ask that of you.”

“You’re not mad that your little game is over?”

“No. Spikes having someone who cares about her is much more important to me than making Takado jealous.” Kitty sighed before clenching her fists.
“I’d rather one of us be happy than both of us alone and miserable.”

Vincent stood from his seat, walking over to Kitty and pulling her into his arms.
“I’m sorry. Takado, he’s a real moron for not seeing how great you are.”


Kitty bit down on her lip as she hugged him back, surprised by how comfortable and almost familiar his arms felt.

“Vincent? Kitty?” Her voice was soft, but pained, surprising both the cats as they jumped apart to look at Spikes.

“Hey Spikes Vince and I were just talking about you and-” Kitty began to explain but was promptly cut off by Spikes’s growling.


“Talking about what? Stabbing me in the back?” She sounded more like a wild animal than she did a person. 
“I should have known. I should have fucking known it’s not possible to find someone who might just genuinely give a damn about me!”

“Spikes that’s not what was happening here.” Vincent cut in.

“Save it! My brother was right. Cats are not worth associating with.” Spikes snarled before racing out the door of the coffee shop.

Vincent and Kitty both tried to run after her, but she was already in her car driving away before either could try to say something.


Kitty started digging through her pocket to find her keys as she jogged to her car.

“Where are you going?” Vincent asked, grabbing her arm as she entered the car.

“To fix this.” Kitty responded, wiping at the tears in her eyes. 
“No matter what. I’ll fix this and convince her to come back and talk to you, so stay here ok?”

Vincent nodded as he let go of Kitty’s arm. He knew there was no arguing with her so her let her go.

I hope you can fix this Kitty.

Vincent thought to himself as he watched Kitty’s car speed off before he stepped back inside.


"Takado, seriously enough with the goddamn booze," Spikes growled as she snatched the bottle of whiskey from her brother's hand. 

He growled at her and made his way toward the kitchen to grab another one, not even bothering to glance at his little sister.

"Come on Takado knock it off!" Spikes shouted as she slammed the refrigerator door closed as he tried to open it.

"Goddamnit, Carissa, leave me alone!" He snarled before turning around to go back to the living room.

"I'm just worried about you, ok?! You've been drinking almost non-stop, your insomnia is acting up again, and you're always angry lately! If you miss Kitty so damn much why don't you just tell her?" Spikes shouted at him. 


"I don't miss that bi-... I don't miss her, ok?" Takado started to yell, but stopped himself. He sighed heavily, turning away from his sister.

"Uh-huh... Sure," Spikes said, rolling her eyes at her brother as he laid back down on the couch.

"Just give me my damn drink back and go away Carissa," Takado grumbled from where he was laying on the couch.

"No. I'm not going to let you turn into a raging alcoholic over a little break up," Spikes said, realizing one second too late how poorly she'd worded what she'd said.


"Little break up? You think that was a little break up?! I broke a fucking wall! I don't want to admit how close I was to hitting her. 
What she said was completely uncalled for, but I fucking deserved it. I was making her miserable. 
I promised to be the best I could be for her, and I wasn’t. She deserves better than me, and I hope the bastard that has her now holds onto her. 
Because letting her go was the stupidest thing I have ever done.” Takado shouted at Spikes, making her take a step back.

She'd forgotten how frightening her brother could be, but more so his honestly surprised her.
It was the first time he’d admitted to missing her.

Spikes didn't stop him when he turned around to exit the living room. She knew he would just go to his room and lay down. 
It was all he ever did if he wasn’t out of the house or drinking.


Spikes was about to take a seat in the living room until she heard the front door open. She bit her lip and debated running out the back door. She wasn’t ready to face Kitty yet.

“Spikes please don’t run.” Kitty’s voice was barely audible as she entered the living room. 
“Please just give me a moment to explain.”

“Explain what Kitty?” Spikes sighed.
“I can’t be mad at you for seeing Vincent. I want to be, but I never told you about him, so how could you have known?”

“I’m not seeing him though, Spikes.”

“Save it Kitty. The least you owe me is honesty.”


“I am being honest. I met Vincent at your club and I approached him because for a second he looked like my dad.” Kitty explained how she met Vincent, looking down at her feet as she did. Guilt tore at her insides. She’d never meant to hurt Spikes. 
“Basically we hung out a few times and pretended to be more than friends because I wanted to make Takado jealous. Nothing else.”

Kitty was in tears by the time she finished her explanation while Spikes stood motionless and silent. Neither really knew what to say at that point, but Kitty knew she needed to convince Spikes to go back to Vincent.

“You’re so stupid.” Spikes spat bitterly at her best friend.
“Takado, he’s tearing himself apart from this break up. If he was your goal, why didn’t you just tell him? Why play this stupid game?”

“Because I was too afraid to be honest. It won’t be a problem, though. Please go back to the coffee shop and talk to Vincent, Spikes. 
He really cares about you, and I’ll hate myself forever if I ruined that for you.” Kitty hid behind her hair. She couldn’t face Spikes.


“How is this not going to be a problem? What other stupid game are you planning?” Spikes snapped at Kitty, turning to face her.

“No more games, Spikes. I’m leaving. I’m moving to Moonlight Falls. 
You’ll never have to see me again.” Spikes froze, her eyes wide with shock. Disbelief written plainly on her face quickly turned to anger.


“Are you stupid? I just fucking told you he misses you too. He still wants you.
Why would you think that you leaving solves anything? I lose my best friend if you do that.” Spikes shouted at Kitty as her own eyes began to water. 
“I’m not accepting this! I’m not letting you abandon me because you’re too much of a coward to face Takado!”

Spikes grabbed Kitty’s arm and pulled her downstairs and towards Takado’s room.


“I don’t want to, but I’ll deal with your decision if you at least try. Don’t fucking bother otherwise though because I won’t allow it. 
Now knock on the door.”

“Spikes I really don’t know about this-”


“Just knock. You can figure it out from there.” Spikes dismissed Kitty’s attempts to reason with her and walked upstairs, completely ignoring what Kitty was trying to say.

Kitty stood quietly crying, heart racing outside of Takado’s door. Her hand trembled as she lifted it to knock, for a moment she considered running back to her room, but Spikes was right. 
She had to at least try.

“Go away and leave me alone.” Takado growled at the sound of knocking at his door. 
He hadn’t expected his sister to try to harass him again so soon. Takado lifted himself from his bed, surprised by the silence that followed the knocks.

He was going to get up and go to the door, but he froze at the sound of the last voice he expected to hear.


“I’m sorry.” Kitty whispered as tears cascaded from her eyes before racing back into her room.

“Kitty!” Takado shouted as he ran for the door. Takado groaned at the sound of Kitty’s door slamming shut before running to her room. 
He stopped with his hand on the door knob at the sound of her cries from inside the room.

He considered turning back. He’d hurt her enough, he should leave her alone. But he needed to see her.

“Kitty?” Takado entered the room, softly closing the door behind him.


 "Oh uhm hey Takado..." Kitty murmured quickly as she tried to wipe the tears from her eyes. 
"Sorry I didn't mean to bother you a second ago I just... I wanted to talk to you, but it’s not important."

Takado watched her attempt to hide her tears, wishing he could hold her in his arms.

"No it's ok... Uhm I didn't mean to yell at you Kitty. Carissa and I got into it earlier, so I assumed it was her. 
So what did you want to talk about?" Takado took a step closer to her. He knew he should leave. 
He shouldn’t be alone with her while she was seeing someone else.

"I... Uhm..." Kitty mumbled, having lost the courage to tell him what she really needed to say. 
"I just wanted to apologize for what I said the night we... broke up. It was really immature of me and I should have just told you that you were upsetting me. 
I know an apology doesn’t mean that it’s ok, but I wanted you to know that I’m really sorry and words cannot even begin to express how deeply I regret it."


"I'm the one who should apologize Kitty. I was an asshole and you didn’t need to put up with that.
You deserve someone so much better than the person I was... Also I'm sorry about your wall," Takado tried to chuckle slightly, hoping to lighten the mood a little bit.

"It's fine. Plaster walls are easy to fix," Kitty stammered, trying to smile through her tears. 
“It gave me a pretty good excuse to remodel my room.”

They both chuckled slightly, cheeks flushed as they looked at each other. Kitty hung her head as Takado took another step forward, his hand resting against her arm.

"Look I know you're with someone else now but..."

But I want you to be mine.

Takado thought to himself bitterly, knowing he couldn’t say it. Knowing he needed to let her go so she could find her own happiness.


“I’m glad you found someone who can make you smile.”

"Thanks..." Kitty suppressed tears as she finally turned away from Takado.

"Uhm... I guess I'll just go now. I don't want to overstep my boundaries, unless..." Takado hesitated, hoping, praying that Kitty would turn back around and ask him not to leave.

"Bye..." Takado whispered, finally giving in to defeat, as he stepped out the door of her room.


"Bye." Kitty managed to choke out through her tears as Takado closed the door. 

Kitty wiped the remaining tears from her eyes, and pulled her suitcase out of her closet.


Spikes growled as she sped down the road with her tipsy brother in the passenger’s seat. 
She was angry at Vincent, angry at Kitty, and now Takado had made it onto that list after his failure to communicate with Kitty.

"Why the hell are we going out for coffee this late at night?" Takado grumbled, his eyes distant and sad as he stared out the window.

"Since when do you complain about coffee?" Spikes groaned.

“Since it’s fucking ten at night and I want to sleep… and I’m slightly drunk,” Takado continued to complain. 
He didn’t want to go out with his sister for coffee. 
He wanted to be home and in bed sleeping, or still talking to Kitty.

“Well get the fuck over it,” Spikes sighed. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that Kitty had asked her to get him out of the house.
To get him away from her.

Spikes could see Vincent through the window the moment she drove by the coffee shop, only making her heart race faster. 


Spikes sloppily parked her car and jumped out barely managing to lock it before sprinting into the coffee shop.  Takado’s ears perked as he watched where his sister was running to.  
His anger sparked at the sight of the cat he’d seen with his sister. It finally dawned on him that he looked like the man Kitty was seeing, but Takado couldn’t be sure.

Takado stepped out running after his sister, but froze at the sight of his sister slapping the cat.
Vincent turned his head to face Spikes, his cheek flushed from the fresh sting of the impact.

“Don’t keep secrets from me.” Spikes barked at him as he stood in awe.  
“You should have just told me what was going on. I would have supported you, like you’ve been supporting me. 
I hate secrets, and I don’t ever want us to keep things from each other.
I want us to be open and honest, and maybe if we last, come back to this little coffee shop to visit where everything started.”

“What are you-” Vincent began trying to hide his smile at her simplistic fantasies.

“And I’m a hard ass, I know that, but I like roses.  At least once every few months I like to be surprised by simple acts of kindness.  
You’re the one that helped me realize that’s what I deserve.” Spikes smiled up at him, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment.


“Spikes-” Vincent began again as he entwined his fingers with hers.

“Carissa.” Spikes interrupted him.
“I know you heard my brother say it, but I wanted to tell you. You need to know if we’re going to turn this into anything.”

She smiled, her blush darkening.

“And what are we turning this into?”

“Dating. I hope. I really like you, and I think you like me too. 
So… I want to give this a try. To give us a try.” She stated, holding on to her strong front despite the nerves that coursed through her.


Vincent arched his eyebrow, he could feel just through her fingers that she was tense.  
He could feel her pulse racing, sense her nerves rise with each breath she took.

“I like the sound of that.” Vincent responded, leaning over and kissing her forehead gently not wanting to upset her older brother that he could see glaring.

“You’re the guy who was with Kitty, aren’t you?” Takado growled at the raven haired feline.

“Actuall-”


“Yeah he was. Kitty introduced me to him and we hit it off. 
He left her because he wanted me. She gave her blessing, so there’s nothing wrong with it.” Spikes interrupted Vincent, smoothly lying to her brother.

“Why?” Takado growled, glaring at his feet. 
“She’s been hurt enough. Why would you make her go through it again?”

“Isn’t that what you did?” Vincent spoke, understanding what Spikes was trying to do.


Takado’s eyes widened as he looked up at the two. They were right, but Takado thought she’d moved on. 
Thought she’d found happiness without him.

“She’s moving, Takado.” Spikes’s eyes were filled with fresh tears as she looked at her brother. 
“We’re losing her. Forever.”

Takado’s legs shook as he stared blankly at the ground. His breathing quickened and his heart raced as adrenaline began to pump through his system and his jade eyes began to glow.

“No. I’m not losing her.” He snarled as he spun on his heel and ran out the doors, leaving his sister and Vincent alone smiling as they watched him run.

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