Chapter 27: All Of Me

Spikes inhaled deeply before knocking on the door of Vincent’s apartment, her rage was rising, she needed a distraction.  

He opened the door, a towel hanging partially over his shoulders and part on his head, his pants were barely hanging on his hips, he had yet to put on his belt.  

Yes, this was the distraction she needed.  Spikes smirked as she took in his form, noticing the water dripping down his neck from his hair.

“Spikes?  Hey, I wasn’t expecting you, but-” he was cut off by Mystic running in front of him.

“I told him I smelled Damon.”  She barked happily as she greeted the canines.

“I’m sorry I should have called, we can get going.”

“No!” Mystic and Vince shouted simultaneously causing Spikes to grin as she walked past them into the apartment.  

It had been a while since she’d been here, not since the night she slapped him at the coffee shop.  The corners of her mouth tugged into a smirk as she remembered the night.

“Make yourself comfortable, I’m going to go finish getting dressed.”  He smiled leaning to kiss her on the cheek.

“I don’t see a problem with you staying as you are.”  her voice was low as she grabbed him by the waist of his pants, pulling him closer to her.  He raised an eyebrow as he felt her pushing him toward his room.  

“Is there a problem?”  she smiled up at him as she twirled around and sat on his bed, leaning back allowing him to see what little clothing she had come over in.

“Of course not.” he slightly groaned as he tossed his towel to the corner of the room.  He knelt down in front of her and ran his hand up her leg, letting his nails graze over her fishnet stockings.

“I didn’t even know you owned clothing like this.” he purred as he flicked her garter strap and eyed her black and purple plaid skirt.

“I’m still full of surprises.” she murmured lost in the ecstasy of his voice. 

She could feel the eagerness in his touch as his hands raced past her skirt and up her stomach, shedding her of her leather jacket exposing a simple black lace crop top over a deep purple bra.  

He smirked at her as he lifted her with ease with his right arm, nearly throwing her onto his bed.  Spikes couldn’t help but laugh with lust, she loved the rush of pushing this side of him.  

His eyes were like ice, almost white, glowing as he crawled on top of her, slit pupils meeting the shine of her amethyst gold eyes. She growled as she ran her hands up his chest to his neck, entwining her fingers in his hair pulling him toward her until their lips met.

He growled into her as he gripped her sides, the urgency in his movements almost stronger than her.  

“Thats right, take whatever you need.” she whispered as she ran her claws down his back, trailing her fingers to the waistband of his pants.

“Are you sure about this?” he murmured as his lips trailed down her neck.

“Of course, I’ve needed this escape for so long.” her voice trailed as her fingers fumbled with his pants.

“Wait.”  he said sharply as rolled off of her and sat up.  Spikes quickly sat up, her chest rising and falling quickly as she stared at him.

“What?” She said with a slightly annoyed tone.

“Spikes, why do you want this right now?”  he asked sternly as he searched her eyes for truth.

“Well lets see, I’m stressed the fuck out and losing my mind, sex is a release for me from all of that.  And I like you, alot, we clearly are very attracted to each other so why not relieve each other of some tension in a very fun way?” she said playfully as she reached for his arm.   

He quickly pulled his arm away and let a growl escape his lips.

“That’s what I thought.”  He sighed looking back at her, he bit the inside of his lip nearly drawing blood.  She was beautiful.  Everything about her, he could feel all her energy calling him in, could see the faint drops of sweat beading on her neck and chest.  

He wanted her, gods did he want her.  It had been nearly a year since he’d had a proper feed off of a female, and what he wouldn’t do to get a taste of her.  He looked away, body shaking, fighting his instinct.  

“Is there something wrong with me?” Spikes asked abruptly.

“No!  Gods no!  You’re perfect...” he held back his urge to embrace her, it felt as though he was being stabbed in every joint, but he knew he had to fight it.  

“If you were any other girl I would take you right now.” he paused trying to stop the shaking, he knew he was falling for this fierce demon, he knew their compatibility would make all the others dull in comparison, 

“But you aren’t just some girl. I’m not going to let our first time be just some fuck.” he growled as he stood up looking away from her.  

Spikes stared at him in disbelief as his words rang through her head.  What had happened to her?  She had shown so much desperation, yet not even an incubus would take her.

“This was a mistake.” her voice was quiet and cold.  She quickly stood up and put her jacket back on, smoothing her skirt as she made her way past him to the front door.

“Spikes wait!  This wasn’t a mistake!” Vincent shouted as he ran after, grabbing her by her arm only to be thrown to the ground by her simply pulling her arm back.

“Don’t worry Vince I won’t be bothering you with this again anytime soon.”  she snarled, 

“Damon lets go!” she howled.  

As she looked around she could see the large canine with his ears down and tail tucked backing behind the couch.  She snarled again and shook her head. 

“Fine.  Stay here then, I’ll be back later, I need to cool off.”

She ran to her car and peeled out of the apartment parking.  

She sped down the road, getting tunnel vision, not realizing where she was going until she found herself getting out of her jeep and walking up to the doorstep.  

This was the demon in her, the lust rising, the animal instinct that didn’t care about the who or what.

“Heh, I was waiting for you to come crawling back to me.” His voice was arrogant and his grin laced with pride. 

“And look, you even dressed up for me.  You look allot better this way.”

“Shut up.” she growled as she walked passed the canine and made her way down the hall as she had done so many times before. 

“You know why I’m here, so are we going to do this or what Xander?”  He chuckled as he walked up to her and took off her jacket.  

He wasted no time in undressing her, no kissing, no passion, his hands were cold as they grabbed her arms and threw her onto his bed.

“Ow, fuck, watch it.” she growled as he dragged her skirt off her waist.

“What I thought you liked it rough.” he grunted as he took off his own shirt and pants.  

Spikes reached to take off her shirt, but stopped at the scent of Vincent on her top as she pulled it up.  

Her world stopped for a moment, his words ringing through her mind.  

She felt numb as Xander’s hands grabbed aimlessly at her legs, and she felt the familiar wet of tears on her face.

“Stop!” she shouted as she felt him reaching to remove her panties, skirt and garter still intact. She watched him laugh and try to continue.  

“What are you fucking deaf?” she snarled kneeing him in the face, quickly jumping off the bed.

“I said stop asshole!”

“What the fuck is your problem?!” he howled as he held his hand over his now bleeding nose.

“This isn’t right!  I’m not- I’m not this!” she grabbed her jacket quickly covering up.

“I’ve gotta go, now!  Don’t call me!” 

her voice trailed as she sprinted to her jeep, speeding back to Vincent’s apartment.

-----

“Vincent!” she shouted running into his apartment.

“Spikes, look I’m sorry!” he started as she ran into his arms.

“No!  No you aren’t, you shouldn’t have to be!” she gripped onto him as though he was her very pillar to existence. “I get it...” she whispered choking back her tears, 

“I’m sorry for getting so crazy...” her heart was racing as she attempted to let the words come out.  

“I just...I don’t know how to handle this, I don’t know how.”  her knees went weak as she dropped to the floor.

“Spikes, I’m not asking you to do this alone.  I’m here for you.” his voice was soothing as he sat on the floor and pulled her close to him, letting her rest her head in the crook of his neck.

“I-I can’t do this alone anymore Vincent...” she whispered as her body began to shake, 

“I should have killed her...I should have done it before Kitty got there.”  

she buried herself  more into his chest as she began to sob.  

“I wasn’t strong enough...I’m not strong enough...If I hadn’t let Kitty stop me, she wouldn’t be going through this!  Its my fault Vince!”  she was sat up abruptly by Vincent’s hands gripping her shoulders.

“No!  Don’t you for a second blame yourself for this.”  his voice was stern but she could see the sincerity in his eyes. 

“Do you really think that you would have come back from that?  Kitty’s maturity is nothing like yours, because of the life you’ve led it is far easier for you to have been lost forever if you would of been the one to take her life.” he raised his hand to caress her tear soaked cheeked.  

“Spikes I know how strong you are, but I don’t think you’d ever come back from that.  I don’t think you would have been able to fight it.”

“Because I’m so weak...” she cried as she tried to look away.

“No.” he said lightly pulling her face back to look at him, 

“You are not weak, you are strong and amazing, but because of that strength you would remove yourself in order to not be that reminder to her.”  he cupped her cheek staring into her eyes, 

“I can see you are tired, tired of fighting and struggling; that doesn’t make you weak.”

“I’m...afraid...” her voice was weak. 

“I don’t want to ever feel that type of power again...I could feel her soul Vincent...I wanted to rip it from her.”

“You didn’t though...” he whispered as he let her rest in his arms.

“I know you feel guilty, but Kitty will pull through this, I promise you.” 

he ran his fingers through her shaggy hair.  Her body continued to shake as she thought about where she had been just an hour prior.

“Vince...” she said softly as she lifted herself up to face him.

“I need to tell you something...” she sighed, feeling her tears starting to fall.

“You-You’re the best thing to ever happen to me... You’ve taken me for everything I am, you’ve stood by my side...I don’t deserve you.” 

he opened his mouth to argue but she simply shook her head. 

“I-I almost did something really bad.  And you have every right to tell me that you never want to see me again, it’s the least I deserve.” her voice was cracking and she avoiding his eyes, 

“After I lost it...I went over to Xander’s house...We didn’t do anything, but almost...I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”  she looked up, eyes puffy and her face red, 

“I couldn’t help but think of you, think of what you would think of me... Your scent was everywhere, I just, I couldn’t be that girl; not with him, not with anyone...” she watched as he sat in silence, his face contorting, but what she couldn’t understand was the look of relief.

“Carissa.” his voice was soft as he looked at her with doe like eyes, 

“It’s okay.” 

he smiled as he watched her shoulders rise as they always did when she started to get worked up.  

“Okay?!  How is that okay?!  I know we aren’t exclusive, and I know that I didn’t actually do anything, but-but I feel so-” 

she was cut off by his hand pulling her by the back of her neck for her lips to meet his.  Her eyes widened, lips fumbling trying to figure out how to react.  She felt her shoulders start to relax as he pulled away and smiled softly at her.  

“Why...”

“Its simple.” he said softly, he could see her aura spreading, could hear her heart beat rise.  Her eyes still wide, mixed with hope and confusion; 

“I love you Carissa, and I think you love me too.”  

“But...why? How?!” her voice raised as the familiar lump formed in her throat, 

“How could you love someone like me?!  You’ve seen everything horrible about me, I’ve been so cruel to you...Why would you ever love someone like me?”  

“You’re not as bad as you think you are Spikes.  You are kind, you have so much love for those around you, you would give your last breath to see someone you love happy.” he spoke with confidence as he locked eyes with her, 

“When I first met you, I saw a fierce, strong woman; but, I also saw a stray pup, looking for  her place in the world.  You were so fascinating to me, and as we took the time to learn about each other, I realized you were slowly becoming the center of my thoughts.  With each day I’ve fallen more and more in love with you.” he paused, lightly tucking the loose strands of hair behind her ear to see her face. 

“And, yes I am hurt that you felt the need to go to his house, but in the end you chose yourself.  You chose your dignity, and self respect;  and if that isn’t the strongest thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what could be.” he smiled watching her small mouth form into a smile.

“You...You are such a fool.” she shook her head chuckling to herself, 

“But I must be the bigger fool, to accept your forgiveness, and to be in love with a man who deserves so much better than I.”

“I would be lucky to live a thousand lives and meet another woman half as amazing as you Carissa.” he whispered as she lifted herself into his lap, letting her lips meet his. 

He purred as she pulled away and nuzzled the crook of his neck, he could feel her lips smile against his skin. 

He exhaled softly and closed his eyes, enjoying the quiet; listening to the softness of her breathing, her heart rate finally slowing to a steady pace.  

The sound of paws on carpet made its way toward him, gathering a small chuckle from the feline. 

“C’mon love the little ones are on the move, lets get up.”  he motioned to move but was stopped by the light snore coming from his mate on his lap.  

He felt his cheeks flush as he shook his head, easily picking her up taking her to his room.  Laying her on the bed, he pulled a cover over her, pausing for a moment as he took in her sleeping form.  

The usual anger creases on  her forehead were gone, and in her sleeping state her mouth seemed to form into a slight smile.  

For once, she was at peace.

…

“What made you guys decide to move?” Vincent asked, taking a seat beside Sabbith in the living room. 

“I mean it couldn’t have been easy on Kitty.”

Sabbith shrugged, taking a sip of her tea before leaning back in her seat. 

“Takado thought it’d be best if we continued with the original plan. He thought that maybe it’d help her.”

“Did it?” Vincent asked cautiously, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“I can’t tell a difference. She’s still numb, almost hollow at this point.” Sabbith kept her voice down as she spoke, casting a wary glance at the hall door.

“Is Takado doing alright? I can’t imagine what he’s going through.” Vince responded, glancing out the window towards Spikes’s room.

“No. He tries to deny it, but it’s eating away at him. He never sleeps, he hardly eats. It’s funny because in trying to make her better he’s become as bad as her.”

“How are you holding up?”

Sabbith blinked, eyes on the floor. She inhaled deeply before biting down on her lip.

“I’m alright. As alright as anyone can be in this house at least.”

Vincent’s mouth opened to ask more, but Sabbith stood from her seat ignoring what he might have said to open the front door.

“I hope I haven’t come at a bad time.” Warren said apologetically, stepping through the door.

“It’s fine. You’ve waited so patiently to speak to him, and I’m not letting him blow you off again.” Sabbith responded, gesturing him towards the small living room. 

“I’ll go fetch Takado.”

Warren nodded briefly as Sabbith turned and exited the hall door.

She hesitated with her hand on the doorknob to Takado and Kitty’s room. She took a moment to compose herself, prepare for stepping through the door before she did.

She found him in the small den in their room, braiding Kitty’s hair. She was motionless, expressionless. She was like a doll.

A small broken doll.

“Warren’s here, Takado.” Sabbith spoke softly, seeming to startle him slightly.

“Get rid of him. I’m pissed enough you gave him our address, Sabbith.” Takado growled, glancing up at her before returning his attention to Kitty.

“You can’t avoid him forever, Takado.” Sabbith responded, sitting on the armrest of the chair Kitty sat in. 

“I’ll stay here and watch over her, but you have to go.”

“I’m not leaving her.”

“Then take her with you for all I care. Just stop avoiding this.”

“He’s a reaper, Sabbith.” Takado’s voice was soft, shaky. His words hung like fog in the air. 

“He’s a reaper, and I’m not supposed to be alive. What if… What’s that going to do to Kitty if I leave now?”

“Takado, if he was here to-” Sabbith took a deep breath, carefully choosing her words. 

“If he were planning on taking you away, he could have easily done it before now. He just has questions.”

“What if you’re wrong?” Sabbith paused. Her eyes met his, surprised to see the fear in them.

She inhaled deeply, almost relenting in letting him avoid Warren once again. She shook her head, grabbing Takado’s shirt and pulling him up.

“If he’s not then you can haunt me and hate me for as long as you want, but right now you need to stop being a baby and go talk to him.” Sabbith straightened out his shirt before she pushed him towards the door. 

“It’ll be okay. She’ll be here waiting for you when you get back.”

She pushed him out the door to his room, locking it behind him, and sticking her tongue out at him through the glass.

“I can see why you and Kitty are so close.” Takado groaned, shoving his hands in his pockets as he walked down the small hallway.

Vincent and Warren stood abruptly as Takado stepped into the room. Vincent excused himself as Takado sat across from Warren, both silently analyzing the other.

“Why do you keep trying to get in touch with me?” Takado finally asked. His eyes were on Warren’s, watching carefully for any sign of trouble.

Warren sighed, adjusting himself in his seat. 

“Curiosity, I suppose. I’m curious as to how you’re here when I know I saw you die, and took your soul.”

“You’re probably just confusing me with someone else.”

“Takado Rovain. Age at time of death, twenty one. Species, coyote demon. Cause of death, murder. Sound like you?”

Takado flinched, glancing briefly at his feet before returning his gaze to Warren.

“So what if it does?”

“How are you alive?”

“Why the hell should I tell you?” Takado snarled. He stood from his seat and began to walk towards the hall door.

“She’s dying you know.” His voice was barely a whisper, but Takado turned on his heel. He grabbed Warren by the front of his shirt, pulling him to his feet.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Takado snarled, shoving Warren against the glass wall. 

“How the fuck would you know? You don’t know a damn thing about her.”

“I know I can feel her spirit. I know it’s weak, and I know that no living being can withstand it for long before it either becomes permanent or they die.” Warren responded, briefly struggling against Takado’s grip.

“And what? You can help her but you’re not going to unless I give you the information you want?” Takado pulled Warren forward, their faces inches apart.

“No, I can’t. Only someone with an affinity for spirit would be able to unnaturally alter her current state.”

“Then you’re useless to me.” Takado growled, throwing him against the wall. Takado quickly exited the small living room, aiming for the hallway door before he paused to look at Warren.

“Why? If you don’t have any useful information, why bother bringing her up?”

“I thought you might want to know that her death is of little consequence to your life.” Warren responded, picking himself up off of the ground.

Takado’s face contorted with rage as he jumped down to where Warren stood. 

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“Calm down, I’m not saying it wouldn’t be important. Simply that your life will continue without her even though you’ve got some of her life force in you.” Warren took a step back from Takado, his back pressed against the wall.

“What?” Takado’s rage dissipated as he tilted his head in confusion.

“Do you even know anything about your own resurrection?” Warren groaned, resting his knuckles against his forehead.

“Kitt- Katherine brought me back. She said my mother gave her the ability to bring me back. No repercussions.” Takado responded, taking a step away from Warren.

“Everything in this life has repercussions. Whoever said otherwise lied.” Warren stated. 

“It’s said that whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three times.”

“What of it?”

“Your resurrection, regardless of the reason, is unnatural. The world is unbalanced now, and you can expect death to follow her in order to return that balance.”

“No…” Takado shook his head. 

“My mother would have warned her.”

“Whatever. My point was that in order to bring you back, the feline used some of her life force. That piece of her would live on in you, even if she didn’t.” Warren explained, keeping a wary eye on Takado.

Takado fell onto the couch, resting his head in his hands. “Why are you here? Why are you so interested in me?”

“You were my first job. On every reaper’s 13th birthday we’re taken to discover what types of death we’ll take care of.” Warren sighed, taking a seat on the same couch as Takado though he kept his distance. 

“Everyone congratulated me. How lucky I was to have gotten demonic murders because those don’t happen often. Only once every other week roughly.”

Takado glanced up at Warren. He straightened his posture but remained silent.

“Everyone congratulated me as you screamed to go back. Desperate to get back to the baby sister that was crying over your broken corpse.” Warren inhaled deeply, returning Takado’s gaze. 

“I begged them to tell me a way to send you back. I was only a kid. I didn’t understand why we, death’s servants, couldn’t do anymore to help you than the average human.”

“So what? You’re here because you’re upset that I was brought back by someone else?” Takado’s words hung heavy in the air. 

Both remained silent as Warren carefully thought over his answer.

“No.” Warren whispered when he finally spoke. 

“You coming back is a miracle that I am no less than grateful for. I guess I was just hoping it hadn’t been your mother that caused it. That maybe you’d found a way to cheat death, so maybe I could help others get a happy ending as well.”

Warren scoffed, turning his head to glance out the window.

Takado’s features softened slightly. He turned his gaze down to his feet, mulling over what Warren had said.

“I’ll leave you now. Thank you for taking the time to speak with me.” Warren stood up, nodding to Takado before making his way to the door.

“That’s not why I love her is it?” Takado asked suddenly, surprising even himself. 

“A piece of her life force in me… it’s not the reason why, is it?”

Warren smiled gently as he turned around to glance at Takado. 

“Her life assisted in reconstructing and sustaining your body. Your soul is entirely your own.”

“You should drop by when she’s better. She’d like to meet you.” Takado ignored Warren’s comment as he stepped out of the living room.

Warren’s eyes widened briefly before his grin returned to his lips.

“I look forward to it. Hopefully that day will be soon.” Warren nodded before stepping out the front door.

Takado sighed, quickly making his way down the hall and back to his bedroom. He growled as he swung open the door to find his room empty.

Takado spun on his heel, crossing the hall to knock on Sabbith’s door.

“Give her back Sabbith. I’m done talking with the reaper.” Takado tried to keep himself from growling at the kitsune.

“Nope.” Sabbith responded, almost song-like. 

“Now you need to go take a nap before I give her back.”

“This isn’t funny Sabbith. Give Kitty back to me.” Takado snarled, hitting Sabbith’s wall.

“No.” Sabbith spat at him through the closed door. “You need to rest.”

“I need to take care of her Sabbith.”

Sabbith’s door flew open, his eyes instantly found her glare. 

“You can’t take care of anyone if you’re not even taking care of yourself Takado.”

Takado hesitated before he resumed snarling at her. She was right. He wasn’t competent care for her when he could hardly care for himself. But.

“I can’t. Not without her. I can’t sleep for more than an hour.” Takado admitted, his eyes on his feet.

“I get that Takado, I do. You can’t keep on this way though.” Sabbith’s sigh was soft as she rest her hand on Takado’s shoulder. 

“I have some medication that helps me sleep when my insomnia acts up. Just use twice the human dosage and it should work just fine.”

“... Can I see her first?”

Sabbith hesitated before, opening her down and allowing him inside. Takado went straight to Kitty, hesitating in front of her. She slowly turned her head to glance up at him.

Her eyes were empty, her face colorless just like it had been for the last month. Warren’s words echoed in Takado’s head as he knelt in front of her.

He reached out his hands, resting it against her cheek. His eyes widened as she turned her head into his hand. 

“I love you Kitty-Kat. I’ll see you later okay?”

Kitty blinked once before looking back down to her feet. Takado sighed as he stood up, catching the small bottle of pills Sabbith tossed at him.

“I have to be at work in an hour, so I’m going to leave her with Nadine.” Sabbith informed him. 

“So you can pick her up there if you wake up before I get out of work, alright.”



Takado nodded before turning back to Kitty, who was staring blankly up at him once again.

He leaned over, cupping her face in his hands before gently meeting his lips with hers. He smiled at her before he turned and left Sabbith’s room.

Bye.

Kitty mouthed outside anyone’s notice.