Spikes grunted from the impact of Kitty slamming against her chest. She hesitated, unsure of how to proceed before returning the embrace at the sound of Kitty’s quite squeak-like hiccups.
Spikes stood silently with Kitty, gently stroking the cat’s hair until she stopped shaking.
She gestured Kitty towards the couch, sitting her down before stepping towards the kitchen.
She glanced over her shoulder, grinning as she watched Jinx and Damon both attach themselves to Kitty.
“Okay so do you want to tell me what’s wrong?” Spikes asked, peering in from the kitchen.
Kitty shook her head, refusing to look up to meet Spikes’s eyes. She sighed as she stroked Jinx’s back. Damon whimpered at her feet, nudging her leg gently.
She smiled briefly at the canine before looking away from him.
Kitty bit down on her lip as she scratched Jinx behind her ears. She tried to remain calm, to avoid the thought of David.
Tried desperately to avoid thinking of home, of what happened two year ago.
She tried to focus on her new life in Bridgeport with Spikes. The fresh start she’d needed.
So how did he find me?
She couldn’t stop from wondering how, and if his parents were with him, if they’d helped him.
“Kitty?” Spikes’s voice quickly pulled Kitty from her inner thoughts as she glanced up at the dog.
“I’m back.” Spikes grinned, setting a tray of hot cocoa and sweets on the coffee table. “I grabbed all your favorites.”
Kitty smiled, rolling her eyes as Spikes tried to force an oreo into her mouth. Kitty took the cookie from Spikes’s hand, picking up the mug on the table.
“I should freak out more often if this is what I get for it.” Kitty giggled half heartedly. She quietly sipped at her cocoa, her eyes unfocused.
Spikes lifted her dog off of the couch before taking a seat next to Kitty.
“You’re going to have to talk to me eventually you know.”
Kitty sighed, setting the mug down. She pulled her knees up to chest, biting back tears.
“I uh… I basically ran into me ex?” Kitty responded quietly, glancing through her hair.
Spikes stared at Kitty with her eyes and mouth wide open, unsure of how take the information she’d been given.
“What do you look so surprised for? Did you really think I’ve never had a boyfriend before?” Kitty hissed at Spikes.
Spikes rolled her eyes, quickly recomposing herself.
“Kinda. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but you’ve never really seemed to be interested, let alone attracted to anyone.”
Kitty shrugged, reaching for her mug once again.
“I haven’t paid much attention to it, but I suppose you’re right.”
“So Kitty used to have a boyfriend.” Spikes mumbled, mostly to herself.
“So what happened?”
Kitty rolled her eyes, tossing a throw pillow at Spikes. She easily pushed the pillow aside and laughed.
“Watch it Kitty! Spilling hot cocoa is punishable by death!”
“His name is David. We’d been best friends since we were in diapers.” Kitty started to speak. Her voice was low, eyes watching the ripples in her drink as she spoke.
“When we were 15 he admitted to having feelings for me, and I accepted them. I didn’t dislike him, so I didn’t see the harm in giving it a chance.”
“So why did you guys break up?” Spikes cut in, her eyes on Kitty’s.
“We had been together for a year, and I didn't quite feel like I loved him. But I thought that maybe I could love him, but maybe my secret was holding me back.” Kitty swallowed as a tear fell into her drink.
“I thought I needed to tell him… what I am.”
Spikes stood from her seat, staring at her best friend with both fear and disbelief.
“Why?”
“Because how can you love someone you're hiding such a huge piece of yourself from. I really thought I could love him if I just told him.” Kitty’s voice grew quieter.
“He was so happy… He was so grateful I trusted him, and he accepted me completely.”
“What happened?” Spikes eyes her best friend suspiciously. Kitty’s sudden silence had her on edge.
“Kitty, what happened?”
“Everything was perfect. He’d accepted me, and I thought I’d start to really feel something finally.” Kitty whimpered.
“But he’s such a good kid. He always had been. He told his parents and…”
Spikes shivered, swallowing before taking a step closer to Kitty.
“And what?”
“I was just a kid… I’d grown with his family my entire life, they were our neighbors.” Kitty wiped tears from her eyes.
“How was I supposed to know they were hunters?”
“I’ll be back.” Spikes muttered under her breath as she walked to the front door, whistling for Damon to follow.
“Spikes stop!” Kitty called out as she ran after her.
“What are you going to do?”
“I’m gonna kill him. Damon has his scent from your clothes.” Spikes looked up, into her best friend’s eyes.
“Tonight he breathes his last.”
“Spikes you can’t do that please!” Kitty pleaded reaching for her best friend.
“You can’t do this.”
“There is a monster in town, and like it or not. I’m going to protect you.” Spikes barked at Kitty, startling her. “Revenge for you, is just a bonus.”
“Spikes he doesn’t even know his parents are hunters!” Kitty pleaded, grabbing her hand.
“He’ll know eventually and eventually he will follow in their footsteps.” Spikes pulled her hand out of Kitty’s.
“I’m doing what needs to be done. They killed your father!”
“You think I don’t know that?” Kitty hissed, fire in her voice.
“You think I haven’t dreamed of taking everything from them as easily as they took it from me?”
Spikes growled, turning her back to Kitty.
“Then why not do it?”
“Because I’m better than them.” Kitty responded, grabbing Spikes’s shoulder.
“I refuse to let myself become like them. I won’t be a monster.”
Spikes stayed silent, eyes still on the door until Kitty sighed softly, releasing her shoulder.
“I know I can’t stop you from going, but I’m not letting you leave without giving me your word that you won’t hurt him.”
“I give it.” Spikes sighed softly, hand on the door handle.
“I fucking hate that you know me so well.”
...
Spikes quickly found herself in a small park that overlooked the city. She inhaled the icy winter air deeply, grinning as she turned to find the brown haired male standing by the railing.
“New to the big city?” She spoke softly as she walked from behind him.
“New to this one, how’d you know?” He smiled politely at her before looking back out at the sky.
“Most locals don’t care for a romanticised view of the same city that see everyday.” Spikes smiled sweetly, leaning against the railing beside him.
“That, and a little Kitty told me.”
David jumped back, tripping over his own feet and crashing into the snow.
“What do you want with me?”
Spikes grinned before bending over to look at the young man at eye level.
“Why are you so scared? I haven’t even done anything yet.”
“You’re not human.” David tried to swallow the lump in his throat.
“And you’re here on behalf of the woman who hates my guts. Sorry if I don’t expect good news.”
“Looks like my big brother taught me wrong.” Spikes chuckled, tracing lines in the snow with her finger.
“I guess not all humans are stupid.”
“What do you want from me?"
“I am asking the questions here, Human.” Spikes barked, causing him to flinch.
“What do you want with Kitty?”
“I don’t understand.” David stuttered, glancing at the ground before returning his gaze Spikes.
“Answer my damn question, or I will let my boy here rip you apart.” Spikes snarled. Damon barked in agreement.
“Nothing, I didn’t even expect to find her here. I just… wanted to see her.” David responded, hanging his head.
“That’s bullshit.” She got back to her feet, her glare fixed on David.
“Why on earth would you only want to see her? You’re probably here to manipulate her, to hurt her!”
David stood slowly, eyes on the ground as he inhaled deeply.
“I will take a lot from you, but don’t you dare accuse me of hurting her.” David’s hazel eyes burned with rage as the met Spikes’s.
“I love Katherine. With everything I have in me I love her, and she didn’t even bother to tell me she was leaving. She left me broken and I have never once even dreamt of hurting her.”
“She was crying when she got home.” Spikes sighed, looking down at Damon.
“I hate seeing her cry.”
“You love her, don’t you?”
Spikes’s face flushed crimson as she stared at David with bewilderment.
“What? No! Kitty is just my best friend, like a sister to me almost. I suppose I love her that way, but nothing more than that.”
Spikes stepped back from David, her eyes away from him.
“Seriously, why can’t two girls just be good friends anymore. Just because I care for her doesn’t mean I love her as more than my friend. Not every love is a romantic one.”
“Mine is.” David whispered, looking back out over the city.
Spikes paused her rambling, eyes wide as she stared at David.
His shoulders were slumped, his facial hair was short and patchy, and his hazel eyes revealed just how broken he felt.
“You really do love her, don’t you?”
“Yes.” David responded.
“I was so happy to see her, hopeful I could maybe get another chance. Can you tell me what changed?”
“What?”
“She’s different. The light of her smile doesn’t reach her eyes anymore.” David turned to step closer to Spikes.
“I knew losing her dad would hit her hard, but I never imagined… I never thought she’d lose a piece of herself with him.”
Spikes inhaled deeply. Her eyes traveling between Damon and her feet. She bit her lip, glancing at her dog one last time before stepping towards David.
“I’ll convince her to see you again. It may not be a date or anything, but it’ll be a chance.” Spikes almost grinned as she watched his face light up.
“I’m going to assume you have the same number you did when you saw her last, so I’ll be in touch.”
“That’s it? You’ll really help me?” David asked.
Spikes turned to face him. His face stoic and cold, trying to remain cautious. But he could not hide the child-like excitement in his eyes.
“Shut up before I change my mind and decide to kill you after all.” Spikes smiled, turning to walk away to her jeep with Damon close behind her.
“Thank you.” David called after her before turning to leave himself.
Spikes watched him, quietly. She waited until he was gone before starting her jeep and making her way home.
“I just hope you don’t fuck this up Kid.”
...
Spikes shivered against the cold. It was Valentines, and needless to say she was surprise when Xander had called and asked if she had wanted to go out.
She grimaced at her outfit, wondering why she had bothered to get so dressed up.
She fidgeted with the hem of her gloves, anxiously awaiting Xander’s arrival.
She sighed with relief as his figure came into view.
“You look amazing, Spikes.” He smiled softly, taking her hand and gingerly kissing her fingertips.
“Oh. Uhm, Hi Sweetie?” Spikes’s face flushed deep crimson as she tried to hide behind her hair.
Xander chuckled, linking his arm with hers as he led her into the building.
“I’m sorry it’s a little last minute, but I was so wrapped up in my senior project that I forgot Valentines was today.”
“No Xander this is perfect!” Spikes exclaimed, grinning despite herself.
“I’m really happy we’re going out at all.”
“I did say I would try.”
He led her into the building, laughing at the cheesy decor with her as they rode the elevator.
Xander rolled his eyes dramatically at the dimly lit restaurant.
Spikes giggled at his reaction, kissing his cheek as the hostess led them to their table.
They sat down and ate, Xander ordered some drinks for himself and shared with her. Spikes grinned as he talked about his plans for the future.
She blushed with excitement when he showed the same interest in her that she had shown to him.
Spikes was pleasantly surprised by his charming demeanor as he laughed and took everything in good humor.
Jokingly flirting with the gay waiter.
Listening intently to all she had to say.
Flirting with her.
Spikes could help but feel the night was almost too good to be true as the walked hand in hand in the moonlight back to his apartment.
“So, do you want to come in for dessert?” Xander asked, leading her inside.
“You know me all too well.” Spikes winked at him, handing him her coat.
“Wow, it’s actually clean in here.”
“Yeah, I got bored in between stressing about school and stressing about work.” Xander groaned. Spikes sighed sympathetically, resting a hand on his shoulder.
“I almost wish Kitty would let you move in. You’d be much less stressed.”
“I’m good actually.” Xander laughed, pulling away from Spikes.
“You should check out my room though. I think you’ll be surprised.”
Spikes gasped as she entered his room.
“You kept it?” She whispered as she stepped towards the painting on his wall.
“You made it for me. Of course I did.” He smiled, turning her around as he pressed his lips to her.
His hands slid up from her waist, cupping her cheeks.
Spikes sighed happily, resting her hands along his ribs.
What had begun gentle, quickly escalated to rough and passionate as they fell onto the bed.
Spikes whimpered quietly as he trailed kisses along her collarbone.
She blushed as she watched him remove his shirt, having forgotten how well toned he was. She ran her fingertips along his abdomen as though attempting to memorize the curvature of his muscles.
Spikes hesitated as a cold smirk came over his lips before they were on hers once more.
Her concerns easily pushed aside.
Xander kissed her roughly, gripping her hips as he pulled her against himself.
“I love you Alexander.” Spikes moaned as his lips parted from her.
He paused for a moment, staring down at her before placing his lips against her neck.
“I love you too Carissa.”
...
Spikes yawned loudly, sitting up in bed. She glanced at Xander, laughing at the mess of hair on top of his head.
She leaned over, kissing him gingerly before standing to get dressed.
“You’re up already?” He groaned before rolling back over, covering himself with blankets.
“I guess it’s a dog thing?” Spikes shrugged as she attempted to search for her clothes that had been tossed aside the night before.
Spikes squeaked with surprise as Xander wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder blade.
“You’re so beautiful.”
“Are you in heat or something?” Spikes laughed, ducking out of his grip before pulling on her shirt.
“I have to go home. I really do not want to explain to Kitty why I didn’t go home last night.”
Xander rolled his eyes, grabbing a pair of jeans from his drawer and tossing them to her.
“You left them the last time you were here. Thought you’d prefer these over a skirt.” Xander commented before exiting his room.
“Last night was wonderful.” Spikes sighed happily as she lowered herself onto her seat.
“I can’t express what it means to me that you really did try”
Xander smiled briefly, his eyes never met hers though.
“Did you enjoy it?”
“Of course I did.” He responded, running a head across his head.
“I’m just worried you’ll begin to expect this as a regular thing.”
“Why is it a problem if I did?”
“It’s not me.” Xander sighed.
“Suits, nice places, my hair down. None of it is me.”
“It doesn’t always have to be fancy like last night Xander. I don’t expect a lot.” Spikes cut in, reaching across the table for his hands.
“You say that, but you will. You always do. I’m starting to feel like no matter how I feel about you that we don’t have a future.” Xander responded, pulling his hands away from hers.
“How could you say that? We love each other… Doesn’t that mean we can get through anything?” Spikes stared down at her hands in her lap.
“I think we’re just too young to be committed like this.” Xander suggested.
“Maybe we can try again when we’re older. When we’ve experienced more of life.”
“What does that even mean?” Spikes growled with confusion.
“Spikes you’re only the second woman I’ve ever been with. I’m pretty sure I’m the only man you have ever been with. Don’t you think we deserve more?”
Spikes shot up from her seat, throwing her seat back as she aimed for the door.
“Carissa wait, please?”
Spikes turned around at the sound of his voice, snarling like a wild animal.
“Wait for what? You have what you wanted from me don’t you?”
“Carissa, stop. That is not all I want from you.”
“Why do you need other women then?” Spikes howled, forcing back tears.
“Why do you need more? Am I just a notch on the belt of women you desire?”
“That’s not it, Spikes. I think we both deserve the chance to try new things.” Xander attempted to explain, reaching for her hand.
“New things, or new people?” Spikes pulled her hand away from his own.
“I guess I can’t stop you. Go see other women. I guess I’m all used up.”
“I want you, Spikes. I want you, but I don’t think it’s wrong of me to want to try other women too before I commit myself to you.”
“You know Xander.” Spikes paused, her anger beginning to dissipate.
“I may not be your first, but I wanted to be your last.”
Spikes spun on her heel, racing out the door before Xander could say anymore, before he could think to try to stop her.
She ran home. Ran faster than she could remember running before and collapsed as soon as she entered the front door.
The tears she had desperately struggled to keep in ran easily down her cheeks as she sat in the comfortable silence of her own home.
She reflected on all the times she’d felt abandoned, used, or tossed aside.
By now she has thought, hoped, even prayed that Xander was different.
She held herself quietly as her body shook from her violent crying.
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